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Volatile memories

from Local Area Nuisance by Lacheque

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Francy Boland - Claudia

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I've spent many epochs trying to repair all my files
there are thousands of them in my mind
scattered all around, so fragmented
broken in my brain, my memory can't be the same

memory, volatile in nature
did I write to disk?
or did I purge those thoughts all about you
there's nothing here that I can risk

please, oh please, oh where can I find you?
oh I miss you so
it feels like there's corruption inside me
bad sectors created from woe
when you were around I felt nothing and partitioned my mind
I wish that I could still feel aligned

wish that I could store all that data
may have flipped those bits
but all I want is you here beside me
I don't know if your file exists
recovered from a head crash that made me reconsider life,
like an understanding of my time

please forgive me for my failures
I am human too
when I look into a mirror
I say, "that isn't you"

wandering around without a purpose
combing through the tracks, I would do anything to have you back
I don't know what I did with your data, or even if it's stored
I don't tend to think when I record

please, oh please, oh where can I find you?
oh I miss you so
it feels like something's zeroed inside me
I know that I have to let go

please, oh please, oh where can I find you?
oh I miss you so
the world feels so lonely without you
but I know that you had to go

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from Local Area Nuisance, released November 17, 2020

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